Dog Show Terms Explained!

Angulation-Degree to which dog handlers will bend over
backwards to impress judges.


Balance-
(a) How to arrange the checkbook so your
husband won't know how much money you spent
on dog shows last month. Usually done in the
bathroom with the door locked;
(b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry
form all at once.


Bitch-
(a) Name for a lady dog;
(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe
a lady dog.


Blind Retrieve-When you can't see the toy under the
furniture.


CGC-Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}


Coat-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out
about one week before the Specialty show.


Crabbing-What you do when the judge doesn't like way
your dog moves.


Dam-
(a) lady dog with children;
(b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers
leave the ring.


Distemper-Shown by those hot-headed competitors.


Dog-To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to
attain more breed wins.


Double Bind-Finding two toys under the furniture.


Elbow-Method of getting to ringside when late.


Expression-"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while
staring ravenously at chunks of liver.


Fancier-Degree to which some gentlemen
handlers dress more than others.


Feathering-What winners are accused of doing to judges'
nests.


FlyBall-Neutering.


Force Fetch-Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches
at the carpet until you're forced to "fetch" it.


Front-Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside
of the ring.


Guard Hair-An activity in which one watches intently as
the dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are
mailed.


Heel-
(a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had
just sold to an eager novice;
(b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of
deaf dogs.


Height-As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all
champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.


Hock-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of
jewelry such as wedding rings.


Kennel-Where you go when the kids fight and your husband
yells at you.


Litter-Trash left all over the building and parking lot
after a dog show.


Mask-What to wear when you have to show the pet you
sold six months ago.


Multi-Generational Pedigree-Something you
should have read first.


Muzzle-What to put on your kids at a dog show
to prevent them from calling your competition
what they overheard you call him last night.


Noseprints-Cute marks left all over your French doors.


Outcrossing-What your husband tells the minister you are
doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.


Overshot-Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring
marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.


Pedigree-Dog food with lots of great coupons.


Points-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you
cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash
prizes.


Puppies-Small, dog like food-processing machines with the
ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen
a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been
perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also
be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)


Qualifying Score-Justifying the 170.5 you got in
obedience today.


Ribbons-What you want to cut the other exhibitors into,
after their pet wins.


Specialty-Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing
home dead cats or chewing on walls.


Type-What your dog has... if you turn down the lights and
squint a little.


Utility-The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your
dogs.

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